The Uncomfortable Party
Is there anything you can do to feel more comfortable at a party full of people you don’t know?
You’ve arrived at a party. It could be a cocktail party hosted by a friend or the office holiday party. Wherever you are, you don’t see anyone you know. The event is crowded and slightly warm. People are smiling at you and you’re smiling back. You’d prefer to leave, but you must stay for the sake of your friend/department/job. What should you do?
Alexander Technique to the rescue!
First, notice if your neck could release any tension. Once your neck is no longer so tight, you might notice a change in your breathing. This is a good sign! It means that something in your body has let go and created space where before there was compression. Next, let your head nod gently at the tip of your spine. Think of your spine lengthening like a string of pearls. Allow your knees to unlock and your feet to feel the support of the floor beneath them. Notice that you can even breathe into your back. The room is full of motion and sound but you are centered. Your inner poise presents as confidence. If you feel discomfort creeping in later, all you have to do is take a moment to return to these directions. Now you are ready to introduce yourself to the nearest group and enjoy a beverage and an appetizer.
Have a wonderful time!
Photo by Alasdair Elmes on Unsplash
Sharing My Process
Bad News: The Alexander Technique is something that you need to remember to use.
Good News: The Alexander Technique is never more than a thought away and you can use it at any time!
What is the Alexander Technique?
A method of movement re-education that focuses on letting go of the startle response through dynamic postural alignment and breathing work.
Hello. My name is Stephanie and I’ve been a teacher of the Alexander Technique since 2003. I trained at the American Center for the Alexander Technique in NYC and I'm AmSAT Certified (American Society for the Alexander Technique). I am starting a blog because I love to write and I want to share my knowledge in the hopes it will help others.
I’ve been working part time and parenting two children for the past 12 years, so my life has been full in the best possible way. That said, it’s easy to let my Alexander thinking move to the background as I go about my day.
Even Alexander Teachers need to regroup! I think it may be helpful to allow others to follow my process. I promise to be honest about my struggles. If you believe that Alexander teachers no longer struggle with habit, I am here to prove you wrong!
For example, how am I typing at this moment? My head is balancing at the tip of my spine while my neck is free and my back is lengthening and widening. I am sitting at the front of my chair and my feet are on the floor. My sit bones are poised on the seat of the chair and I am breathing. I notice that my arms are heavy so I pause. I think again about my head, neck, and back relationship. Breathing into my back and allowing my upper arms to soften instead of pressing against my rib cage, my arms lighten.
All of this happens in just a moment, but these moments are important because they will bring me back into my body instead of allowing myself to be drawn down into my laptop with a compressed spine and shallow breathing. When I lose track of my body the Alexander Technique gives me the tools to notice and to free myself from that tension.
In Alexander terms, your front length refers to the distance from your pubic bone to the roof of your mouth. When you compress, your front length shortens. That compression could come from physical, mental, or emotional stress. One of my amazing teachers from the American Center for the Alexander Technique would say, “Nothing is worth losing your front length.”
She was right and this is how I remind myself to live her words.
